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02:41 pm
[Link] |
INEQUALITY (take 2 minutes to read this one)
dont you get it? these people are todays slaves. sure its not the same, nothings ever the same. and thats why its still going on, in the 21st century no less.
the whole reason no one seemed to mind treating "colored" people different is because they werent the same. even after women realized thier right to vote some of the same people who jumped up and down in celebration later stood against blacks being treated equally because they felt the issue was as inequal as the black people involved.
the whole movement is centered around differences and similarities. our country believed that white women were equal with white men before black men. simply because of the color of thier skin, and today these people are denied something they have been subjected to during thier childhood, at least to some degree if not their entire childhood.
here are the questions you should ask yourself next time you are walking to your car or taking out the trash:
is the civil rights movement over?
did we leave anyone behind?
try not to jump to any conclusions about the way things should be just because you think its the accepted answer. think again about civil unions.
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06:25 am
[Link] | kind of an odd urge to update
over the summer i
worked in a pharmacy
went on a cruise (key west & bahamas)
camped on a river
went canoeing down the river
went to panama city beach
played alot of guitar on the beach
visited a best friend who lives hours away
hung out with a married "high-school crush"
rode to the beach and back in a convertible
hit on a "high-school friend" 's current roommate
enrolled and completed 6 hours of college credit with an A and A+
drove to virginia
made a few new friends
hung out with a married "former fling"
gained more direction for my life
read 4 books
prepared to start my next college year
visited an old abandoned mental asylum after midnight
crawled on hands and knees through a section of underground tunnels that spanned a mile or two with not light
learned how to live
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01:44 am
[Link] | Dear Journal,
im so glad that even when i get so depressed with my life that i think i need to write about it to distance myself from it, i still have you that will be happy and interested when i say my life is still going pretty good. it seems that the more depressed i really get the less likely i am to try to convince people i am in a good mood. so im glad that even one none of my friends care about me i still have you. it trully is a superiority complex. the only reason we write down to journals is because they are less than us and need our snippets of life to be able to survive thiers.
love,
bret
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04:38 pm
[Link] | do you ever have a day when you are in such a good mood that you feel like you are a better person? i dont mean better person because you dont like who you normally are but because you wish you could always be in as good a mood as you are that day. Thats how i feel today. because i am in such a good mood i wish i could talk to everyone in the world that i dont know so well just so the the impression i can give them is that i am really happy with myself and everything around me to the extent that they may think i am as great a person as i feel like i am. i would love to be around you in this mood just so i would feel like you had a good grasp of the way i like to feel and possibly have a glimpse of me at my best. but since i understand you are a very busy person i will leave you with hopes of passion and value that you may enjoy both of them in some form today. ~Bret
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05:13 pm
[Link] | well that was interesting. i just had a 10 minute debate (with myself) about whether or not i should shave my mustache. last night someone made fun of my mexistache and i shrugged it off like i shrug off most criticism, but later my mind wandered back to it and i decided that i did want to shave off my mustache. quickly i felt i was faced with the idea of shaving just because of what someone else thinks. i realized that as much of a candidate i have been for not letting other people determine your actions i realized that you also cant let what people think keep you from doing something you might like just because they agree with you. i have always hated the idea of letting other people determine who i am but also have been against being so adamant that no one change you that you spend your time worried so much about not being them that you still arent being yourself. it was when i looked in the mirror with a razor in my hand that i was reminded of how much this means to me.
ps: i shaved it off
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12:43 am
[Link] | i dont know whats going on its spring im annoyingly horny but shes still perfect i cant get her out of my mind. i dont like appointments. i dont know right now maybe tomorrow will reveil.
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09:16 pm
[Link] |
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04:16 pm
[Link] | gone to new orleans for the weekend give me a call if you are there
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02:23 am
[Link] | i have recently decided that i want to do something a little differently so i think i will you may notice you may not
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01:13 am
[Link] | why is it that weaker people in general cant seem to realize when its time for them to just leave? its like when youre in a relationship and it maybe doesnt work out so well and by the time the end rolls around you are just ready to be done with them. i mean trully like not see them anymore. but they still come around maybe to try to work things out and start over or maybe to make you jealous with how happy they are now. its soo fucking annoying. if you are out of my life, especially if you had something to do with me being so happy to see the end of you why the hell do you keep coming back. if the end has come and i am loving it then dont try to change my mind just because you cant get over what we "had" or may be able to have again. just go the fuck away. seriously. i dont want to see you and thats not going to change mostly because it was a long annoying process to drive me to hating you in the first place. dont hang out with my brother and then call me if i dont accept it. dont come around my friend when he and i were happy to see you go. just be gone. we arent interested in being jealous over who you are fucking now and dont want to talk about you trying to get close to someone i care about. just go away. we dont want to talk about it. we dont want to here about it. we just dont really want to see you again ever. seriously
im done whining now
i promise
unless you decide we should talk about it
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01:11 pm
[Link] | haha myspace sucks and im smiling
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02:24 pm
[Link] | i have had a good birthday. thanks everyone who took time to wish me a happy birthday especially the ones who called. it was really nice to hear from you. i had a great dinner with my family and am looking forward to a great weekend of celebration with friends.
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03:59 pm
[Link] | gone to selma for the weekend be back sunday
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10:15 am
[Link] | a moth is a much more beautiful creature than a butterfly. next time you see a moth out a night if it isnt flying really take a look at it. they have a much prettier everything.
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09:11 pm
[Link] | i can't understand why a Kentucky Fried Chicken commercial features the song Sweet Home Alabama
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11:15 am
[Link] | i want my entry right now. i just typed it and its gone...
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10:38 am
[Link] |
i was told its more like guidelines
but as i see it, my philosophy:
dont get offended its a waste of time and makes you look like a pussy when you cant take something.
dont expect people to care about your problems or drive the people who do care to stop because of how many you have.
do something. dont waste your time doing nothing. you have nothing to show for the hours you have spent on the couch.
if you want to do something do it. about everything is possible if you give it a real try. and no one remembers all of the things you wanted to do. only the things you actually accomplished.
have compassion. respect people and attempt to please them without violating any other guidelines.
love. often and wholeheartedly.
keep your word to the best of your ability. dont give your word if it will cause you to violate any other guidelines.
stay in tune with what you do and do not like. dont pretend to like something you dont or dislike something you do. same applies for wants.
if you can be pleased in multiple mindsets in different ways attempt to appease the mindset that will linger the longest. and not trade happiness in a flighty mindsets for unhappiness in a lingering one. if you dislike the girl more than you like the sex dont trade future happiness for a happiness that will be gone at the time of climax.
exercise self control. control yourself to fit these guidelines. make sure you understand why you are using self control.
stop trying to prove yourself. leave peoples attention to what they choose to focus it on and dont try to constantly take it.
know your worth. dont ask it from other people.
dont try to convince yourself of something that does not exist. dont make drama out of nothing or pretend to love simply because you want to.
leave the past there. its where it belongs.
broaden your horizons. always work towards a larger world and a better you.
entertain yourself first and others later. laugh if its funny dont if its not. your crowd shouldnt change what you laugh at.
dont strive for greatness. there are many fewer great men than mediocre ones. strive for contention. if you are content you should have no complaints.
learn to enjoy your failures. dont strive for failure but realize you will have many more of them than successes.
***i am still working through the interactions of these guidelines
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01:27 pm
[Link] | i agree entirely, feeling left out is never fun...
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10:25 am
[Link] | on a much better note it rained today so i finally got ot wear my trenchcoat and furry hat out in public. and it was nice to smile at people and have them smile back. (with a furry vagina on your head i dont think they can help it)
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10:21 am
[Link] | now remember one of the reasons i hated taking my medicine at full strength... ungodly acid reflux for the entire day. anyone know the best way to deal with it. i use maalox but wondering if anything does the trick better. im kinda worried about my teeth too because i know a couple people who have had the enamel eaten off of there teeth by acid reflux and id like to skip that part if at all possible. and never eat soup if you think you may have acid reflux. omg shitty two hours of class after that one. yogurt is a much better choice for breakfast if you have my problems.
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08:25 pm
[Link] | last night i dreamed about a girl. it was like we had hung out for a while and we were good friends. and for some reason or another i told her that i would give her the best first kiss she had ever gotten. and she asked me how i was going to manage that. my answer was that it was going to take some conch shells and a refridgerator. then out of no where i layed her down on the coffee table and kissed her. she stopped me mid kiss and said what about the conch shells. i didnt have a reply i just kissed her again and we made out for like five minutes. it was amazing how detailed this dream was. it really felt like a first kiss. that kind that both people want but are scared of messing up. it really had every aspect of that to it. and it reminded me how long it had been since i kissed someone i was genuinely interested in. i couldnt believe how many girls i had kissed that i didnt really enjoy kissing. and i realized what i am ready to start looking for again.
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11:16 am
[Link] | if there were ever a time i used the phrase "______ rocks my socks off" it would be when describing fall out boys album from under the cork tree.
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10:54 am
[Link] | i think that anyone who can put up with four very slightly talented pop stars attempt to sing a popular old song instead of listening to the original has no taste in music whatsoever and should possibly stick to gregorian chant labeled as meditation music
...a whimsical attempt to make light of yesterday
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12:32 pm
[Link] | i dont think you can trully be meditating if you are listening to a meditation for dummies cd or something of the same nature with a more attractive name. kinda like those self help books. its not self help if you have to read a lame book to get your shit together. its a book help book because obviously you arent capable of self help you need the book.
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11:25 pm
[Link] | the doors are good
no reply necessary
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01:47 am
[Link] | no entry
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12:02 am
[Link] | its amazing how quickly i can hate him when the fact is that she never even tried to stop him.
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11:56 pm
[Link] | tonight made it clear, im wasting your time and im so very sorry. no worries mate. things will be different now.
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03:49 am
[Link] | note to self:
only thing that happens when you throw yourself at someones feet:
they walk on you.
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01:59 am
[Link] | it seems that when i really need a friend to talk to they are occupied. id imagine im just that selfish...
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11:15 pm
[Link] | oh what i would give for a simple knock on the door...
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11:10 am
[Link] | new favorite snack:
yogurt and peanut butter
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04:03 am
[Link] | when i drink enough liquid courage to say what i want to she thinks i am only saying it because i have been drinking.
or she didnt want to hear it in the first place...
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03:50 am
[Link] |
quick (as i can make it) summary of my holiday
left school
went to see family
had a very good visit with family even tho i was expecting a horrible one (first christmas without grandfather)
came back to selma
hung out with kevin and the britneys
had prolly the best visit ever with anderson
went to geneva (parents home town)
hung out with grandmother and other grandad
drove a motorcycle for the fist time (dead grandads harley 1200)
hung out with close family mom dad sister etc
grandmother stayed with us christmas eve
christmas day
great presents
grandad came to visit on christmas day
new years
great time with asms alumni
120 dollars worth of beer plus 15 pounds of ice equals sexy bathtub
call someone important
day after new years
go home and meet lee and his dad
drive to texas
sip on a little sumpthin
cotton bowl
we win (just barely)
get drunk on the way home
call someone important
stumble into my house at 4 in the morning
wake up next day
relax
relax
relax
hang out with close family
and sisters boyfriend
friday after new years
looking forward to date
friday comes
probably the worst impression ive ever made on a date
probably the worst impression ive ever gotten on a date
(bad night)
unhappy
very unhappy
sunday
drive back to tuscaloosa
hang out with important someone
may not be so important anymore
sad
now
write journal entry
whine about my troubles
done
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04:37 am
[Link] | You Lose, Good Day Sir.
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04:16 am
[Link] | the deal is that i like to know what my former (or current) crushes are up to and sometimes i wonder if i am still supposed to be interested even when it is pretty damned obvious i am the only one who has not gotten over my infantile (or mature, generally depending on how long the new relationship lasts) crush. so as i have accepted the fact that i love to live in the past i wonder if i should let people go when they no longer seem to show an interest or if i should continue to be informed (as i like to be) of the greatness of their current relationship (which i have all faith in [really]) and i wonder when it is time to drop them from my informed daily readings and time to just give it up. any ideas my friend (yes you can respond too)?
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03:34 am
[Link] | I don't even know what a quail looks like.
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02:27 am
[Link] | i realized today that i am not who i want to be. i do not fit into any of the places i always wanted to fit into. and the only place i seem to find myself is the past. of all the places i want to be the past has never been one of them. i find myself wondering if there is anywhere that i will be happen that i can actually be. do i fit in anywhere. i know that i am not interested in surrounding myself with people i am not interested in. and i realize this works both ways. so i ask myself again. is there someone or something that i do belong with?
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01:16 pm
[Link] | i once convinced my ears they were broken
it was a rainy day and i was on a trek through the field to seek refuge
on this walk i crossed a patch of sand
it must have been spread there to cover the remains of a fire
as the rain fell all around me i noticed an audible change
when i reached the middle of the patch i was surrounded by a uniform tone
it had no direction and almost no proof of its presence
the sound never faltered or changed as i turned my head to the side to watch a bird fly to my right
during these few seconds the rain only existed in my head
it was a normal day outside
until i returned to grass
and the shower left my head and wet my shirt
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08:26 am
[Link] |
from my heart to your head
you are quite possibly the most beautiful thing i have ever laid eyes on and every time i see a picture of you i am reminded of how much prettier you are on the inside than the out. im sorry we dont talk as much as we used to and i trully hope to see you again someday.
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01:45 pm
[Link] | fuck all you bitches that say peace instead of goodbye or later
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03:24 am
[Link] | All night I’ll hunt for you
Let me show you what I mean
Sangre
Sonando
De rabia nac
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01:20 pm
[Link] | with his head out the sunroof, and his heart in the right place, plan b was fool proof, he drove off to her place and yelled out his feelings, among other stuff. it was too much tequila, or not quite enough, too much tequila or not quite enough.
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04:55 am
[Link] |
in response to an inquiry of what constitutes unattainable and why i think it is just that
that is a hard question to answer. i would say unattainable generally encompasses someone who seems to have a mild interest in me, has in the past, or that i am just really interested in and possesses characteristics that make me think things would not work out or would be very taxing to make work out. kind of like people that i think may have had a crush on me in the past and live out of town leaving me very little feasible chances of catching the true interest of that person again. also there are the people i really like that are lesbians. and all of this is coupled with the fact that it takes me a really long time to really know how i feel about someone. but once i know things dont change. i like the think alot of it has something to do with the idea of working really hard at something. i dont. ever. i dont study really hard or do anything really hard except relax. i think the unattainable aspect even if it doesnt make the relationship trully unattainable adds that hardship that i think i need. i know that people appreciate things alot more when they work hard for them and with soemthing as important as a relationship i want to make sure that i trully appreciate it.
as for why i dont think i can attain it... i have recently come to terms with the idea that i expect failure from most of the things i do. as a result of never trying hard for much i very seldom perform awesomely at anything and have made a habit of not letting myself get my hopes up. it doesnt keep me from wanting things but i does help to not get upset when i dont get them.
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04:31 am
[Link] | tonight i realized my tendency to pick random people that barely exist to me and gain a strong interest in them until they exist again. basically i talk myself into likeing the people i dont really talk to until i talk to them then i lose interest. im not sure why. i dont know if its that i love the unknown or the obviously unattainable. i need to stop writing people off as not worth pursuing. i dont think i will ever like someone who pursues me and i should not deny myself of liking anyone just because im too lazy to pursue them. i think i started to pursue someone this weekend and the more unattainable she was the more i liked it. and then i just decided that its a lost cause. i dont do lost causes. so i think im down another interest.
a think a problem of mine is that i never really picked up any skills. possibly ever. i mean other than day to day skills. but as a whole. im not good at anything. im not the best at anything. and i think i have lost my passion to be the best at anything. i dont think thats good for me. or anyone. but i dont know of any remedy for it.
and ive really got to get out more. except for this weekend. this weekend was good.
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01:00 am
[Link] | with you id walk anywhere
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02:00 pm
[Link] | haha facebook fucked up... they didnt think about how much more bandwidth they would need with the new albums features and now the site is slow as shit from all the people looking at all the large files.
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01:56 pm
[Link] |
My Kitty
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11:38 pm
[Link] | i realized today that i offer way too much information to people who didnt ask me for it. i think im gonna experiment not making comments or statements unless it is valuable information, solicited information, entertaining information, or very closely related to the topic at hand.
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01:11 pm
[Link] | i did some thinking when he called me overly judgemental but as a whole i feel that it is becasue it was housed under one of my no-nos. i mean i feel that i am as undeerjudgemental as i can be but at the same time i feel i am alot more judgemental these days. but back to the no-nos. there are just a few but i really cant deal with them. they include=
overly attention craving, which is something i do my best to offer to people mostly females that i am truly interested in
low self confidence i really cant respect someone who doesnt respect themselves
and hmm well ill finish when sober. yes its 1;15 pm on a thursday and im still drunk from the night before.
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